I've never been one for introductions. Those who meet me rarely have time for such things. But I suppose this is all about me. My platform, so to speak, and thus an introduction is neccessary. So allow me to do so, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance...
I've lived in St. Willoughby's all my life. It's a picturesque little parish in the English county of Mor'Feen. Beautiful place. Perfect for my work...
See, I'm something of a celebrity in these parts, despite the parishioners never knowing my name. The fool Sullivan thinks he has the Ashcourt Terrace murders cracked, but they'll never know the true identity of he who has become known as "The Willoughby Ripper". I always find it amusing that dread becomes abated by giving some sort of... identity to fear.
It is an identity that I don't mind having, really. The Willoughby Ripper... It has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Although it can be a little misleading. There is just as much gouging as there is ripping.
It started small. I was fifteen... Not the most handsome of children. By no means ugly, but not attractive enough in the eyes of many for my displeasure in social norms to be overlooked. Her name was Emily. My darling, sweet Emily. My only friend at school. The only person in the whole World who... who made me feel anything. I was always a boy of very little feeling. I remember at school, during an attempt at art, I painted a canvas purest black and set fire to it, claiming that all creativity is death. If all creation is destined to die, I said, then why create at all? Why not destroy? It wouldn't have been so bad... but this was drama class. And I was halfway through playing Mercutio in the school production of Romeo And Juliet.
I was never a happy child, yet never a sad child. I saw no joy or misery in anything... until Emily came along. She was an outcast like myself. New at school, different from all the rest. I saw in her a kindred spirit, and in me she saw... I don't know what it was, but she cared enough to attempt to bring out of me whatever light she believed was buried deep within my unfeeling soul. Haha, and true to the magnificence that was her, she succeeded in doing just that. For the first time in my life, I felt... like a human.
That year was the happiest of my life. I studied art, I read books, I created, and it was all thanks to her. Together, we created so much beauty. And thus this wonderful, soul enriching partnership continued until that time. The last week before school was due to finish. The end of term dance.
Her refusal to go with me, I accepted. Her mother was ill, this I knew. This she told me. I felt like such a monster for even daring to ask her with such difficulty at home, to be insensitive of this fact. I felt like a bigger monster for so selfishly feeling sorry for myself that she couldn't go with me.
Something, I don't know what, made me go to the dance that night. Alone. Whether it be sheer sentimentality or the vain hope that somehow, Emily would be there, I went. And... haha... was my vain hope answered in abundance, as true to life, there was my beautiful Emily, in the arms of Robert West.
Robert West... She used to talk about him... Because they were "friends". That's all she said they were... "friends". Why did she lie? Why did she string me along and make me think that things were more important than they were? Just for her own selfish wants? Was that all I was to her? A stopgap for another person? Somebody to lavish attention on her until the true object of her attention became available?
Foolish teenage angst, really. This I know. But for me, the pain was real. I laugh about it now.
For some reason, I didn't go home that night. Alone and with a rent heart, I walked into that school hall, ignoring the looks of disgust and amusement on the faces of my peers, looks I'd recieved every day in my five years at that wretched establishment. That look was on the face of Robert's, too. Surprised that I would dare show my face among the beautiful people. Curiously, Emily's face betrayed nothing. Guilt? No. Shame? No. Amusement, even? Nothing. In all my time of knowing her, it was the first time she appeared inhuman... a disgusting reflection of my own inner self.
I did not stay. But I didn't go far. Alone in the car park I waited, by myself, for no reason other than to wait. Three hours flew by as if it were mere minutes, and I hid as the crawling vermin left their nest. People in each other's arms. Emily in Robert's. He walked her home... or at least, that was his intent.
I knew the way to Emily's house, I knew the shortcut, through the woods. I knew that's where they were going. I also knew how to head them off. Without even thinking, I did just that. In a blind fit of rage, I paced up and down in a shady clearing, clutching in my hands a... a log I think. I can scarcely remember, I can't even remember how I came to be holding it. It was heavy... the rain the night before soaking into it only made it weightier. I heard twigs snapping and leaves kicking in the distance. They were coming. They were mere feet away before they even realised somebody was in that clearing with them, and then it happened. A blow to the head and Robert was out of commision, struck unconcious by the blunt object I held in my hands. Emily's face contorted as she screamed in terror, and I hit her too. She fell to the ground, but continued to scream, the volume escalating with each blow I dealt her squirming body... before slowly decreasing over time.....
She stopped moving long before I did.
I dropped the piece of wood, now stained with blood, staggering backwards before falling on the wet grass. I stared at her broken body for what seemed like an age. Then I felt something strange. I felt... happy. As I looked at the lifeless remnant of my former friend I smiled, that smile turning into a laugh, a deliriously happy laugh. Killing her felt good. And it was so, so simple. Using nothing but my own will, I took another human life as if it were nothing. Emily was now part of me forever. It was... the most beautiful thing we'd done together, her demise. This was real art. Robert swiftly became my second triumph.
That is what you get, Emily. That is what happens when you give a man a heart just to tear it out. This is what happens when you fill a man with love and then refuse it somewhere to go. This... This is what happens when the only way to deal with an extreme passion is to turn it into an extreme rage, because that's the last recourse left for releasing your emotion. The emotion you gave me, the emotion you tore to pieces.
Emily really did awake something beautiful inside of me. She finally gave me that joy, that spark of life she was searching for. And although she merely became the first of many, throughout years of my work, she will always remain the greatest. But I won't stop. I'll never stop.
Have you ever seen life leave someone's body, my new friends? Life that wants to stay inside it's mortal shell but is being forced out by your hand? Eyes looking deeply into yours, begging for even a parody of mercy, before blankly staring at nothing... open wide yet not recieving any information... the last thing they ever surveyed being you.... tearing everything they worked to build about themselves... out.
I have... I see it almost every night. And I laugh while I do. It's the only thing that can make me laugh in this depressing, pathetic world. That, and watching, by day, the poor fools trying to crack this ongoing murder spree... sometimes even being asked to help solve my own crimes.... Hahaha, the stupid insects. Still, how are they supposed to know that such an upstanding member of the community would be capable of... would be willing to perform such heinous, brutal, disgusting atrocities?
This is me. My life. Begun by The Betrayer, Emily. Number One.
Ended by... Me and me alone, when I allow it.
Welcome back, Will. How I've missed you and your amazing remembrances of a life well-lived. Yes, first loves are often disappointing.
Please be a darling and don't abandon us for so long, again.
Anxiously awaiting your next missive.
Wow. Incredible. Haunting.
Welcome back. :)
Fucking chilling as always. Welcome back!
You've hit the nail on the head with this one. Welcome back, Ripper.
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